Stop staring
“I don’t know how to apologize. I don’t know how. I wanna take back everything I said, I know I can’t. I was sick, and I was scared. And I didn’t mean…I wanted to hurt you, I was trying to hurt you and I think I succeded. And if I could change that, if I could go back and unsay…If I could go back and undo…The drugs… some people think that alcohol and drugs bring out the truth…Maybe that’s the case with normal people, I don’t know. I won’t ever know. But I know that with me the drugs bring out lies, they bring out hate, and they bring out cruelty and viciousness, and those things are not me. They are not the real me. The real me is the person that you knew before the drugs, the real me is the person that is sitting here now. And I hope that you believe me when I say how sorry I am. But even if you don’t believe me I have to say it anyway because I wanna live. The man I loved died and I think that he would be…I think that he would be so pissed at me if I died too so, I’m saying that I’m sorry and I’m saying that I hope you can forgive me. I hope I can forgive myself. I can’t take it back but I’m gonna try to move forward and I’m going to try to do better. I’m gonna try to never hurt any of you ever again.”
